While laying in bed I tell my husband that I am lost for words while trying to write this blog about what it feels like to love a military man.
He explains it simply:
“Difficult at times but rewarding.”
And frankly I have to agree. Hollywood portrays military love as glamorous and truly epic but they do not fill in the blanks between the running into one another’s arms on green ramp and the warm embraces.
Loving a military man means:
Patience and understanding
Many times plans change and it is not the fault of your soldier but the decision of the army. Such as not spending Christmas Eve with your love because he must rush back 10 hours to base from your hometown to unload a bird. Or when he was supposed to deploy in September for 3 months but then it changed to July and for 6 – 9. These moments at times make my blood boil and I used to get to angry, upset, and take it out on Andrew but this was not the right thing to do. Even today after years of military mishaps I still have to stop and remind myself that my husband made a promise to his job and must do as the army has told him to do even if it doesn’t make sense. I have to remind myself he is not the reason for the change and to be compassionate towards him even when upset.
To accept loneliness was one of the hardest challenges for me to truly get used to. I grew up in a household filled with family always being together and even when my brother moved away to college I had family all on the same road. I never felt truly alone until being apart of the military world. The loneliness that you feel when the day is done and everyone else has went home and you lay awake by yourself knowing the next day and the next and the one after that will be the same coming home to an empty house. However, as the years have went by I have become accustom to this time and have used this time to learn more about myself and fill it with finding things I enjoy.
Embracing the Little Moments
Andrew and I both continually remind ourselves of these moments. When your spouse is your constant at times you forget that running to the store together or sitting down at the table for dinner is not always the norm for your friend that is a military spouse. Because of this when Andrew is at home I make a point to remind him that the time together is precious. I enjoy these little moments when we are in the car and singing to our favorite songs…even if it is to just go to the store. Or when we decide to eat at the table to talk about our day instead of eating in front of the TV watching our favorite shows. The little moments are the times you go back to in your head when they are away that you cherish and can’t wait until they are back.
My husbands life and career are dedicated to defending our nation and I am dedicated to him. He felt a purpose and a commitment to our country to fight for what he believes in and defend his loved ones at home. Seeing his compassion to our country sparks a compassion in my life and in our love. I know he would not be the man I love if he had not seen war and felt pain.
To love a military man means having hope he will call you today, having hope the internet will work while you are trying to skype (sounds funny but skyping is a blessing when they are gone), having hope the deployment or training won’t be extended, but lastly having hope they will make it home. Loving a military man means you must be hopeful for the future times you will be together and the time you will share when they return.
I love my military man and I love our life together. And like Andrew said it is Difficult at times but Rewarding.
Thank you to him and all of the other men who are serving in the military or have served.
Pictures by http://www.kristalajara.com