Ok so I am turning 30 in just a few short days. Why is this a big deal? So many say it shouldn’t be but I have already cried several tears about this monumental stage in my life. Why you ask? Well because my 20-something year old self put a lot of pressure on my 30 year old self! Rude right?
My 20-year old self continually said “when I am 30 I will…” the list went on about where I would be and what I would be doing when I turn 30. A few just include-
- Be ready for a baby
- Traveled more
- Have little to no debt
- Driving around in a jeep wrangler
- Be a morning person
- Have more money in my bank account
- Pay down my student loans
The list continues on what I thought 30 would look like. The other day I posted a picture of the very first watermelon I cut myself. This to me was a great accomplishment towards adulthood because I had always feared I would cut my fingers off in the process of cutting a watermelon- silly right? But that alone made me realize how un-adult I feel as I am approaching 30.
I believed 30 would make me feel like “I HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER”. But guess what…I don’t. I call my parents whenever I have any questions about life. Which I do feel like they enjoy and appreciate but sometimes my husband jokes that I do not know what it is like to be an adult. And in reality I have not ever felt like an adult and 30 isn’t going to change that. Even though my 20-something year old self always believed I would magically feel like an adult, feel put together, and overall more mature. But I DON’T!
This week I have felt a mixture of emotions on turning 30 and it mostly was sad because I haven’t accomplished everything that my 20-something year old self thought I would. And well that is just NOT ok! I should not feel the pressure from my 20- something year old self because I have accomplished a lot! So as I approach 30 I am taking a vow to myself – Not to put pressure on any age! It’s ok to make long term goals but it isn’t ok to put the pressure on yourself to be ready for something or be someone you are not yet.
So Cheers to 30 and what it will bring!
Photos by Matthew Wonderly Photography